hello. my name is jim bishop. this is what i look like today:

 

i knew i wouldn't be able to sleep so i went out last night with lane, courtney, benbrown, and pableaux for arianna's birthday. first, we went to the draught horse--my favorite austin bar. i had my bachelor party there. they have the best jukebox in the city. then, everyone started whining for food. lane tried to use his own patented method of mind contol to sway everyone's vote to magnolia. let's call it laneSpeak(sm). it works something like this. someone will say, "ooh! let's go to waterloo ice house. i heard they have two analog pinball machines." lane then pipes in, "or we could go to magnolia..." someone else then says, "dog and duck also has pinball machines." lane then counters, "okay, so are we going to dog and duck or magnolia." the conversation shifts back to waterloo. lane breaks in, "okay, are we going to go to waterloo or magnolia." after ten minutes of this back-and-forth, everyone tires and somehow land on the idea that everyone wants to go to magnolia. until we get out into the parking lot and lane's clever parlor trick is deciphered!! while lane is signing his credit card, everyone decides to go to katz's because arianna, the birthday girl, tells us that they have this mysterious cheesecake shake. at this point, you're wondering, "i've heard of chessecake. i've heard of milk shakes, but a cheesecake milkshake?? how does that work? well, the people at katz's make you a milk shake. then, they stuff an actual piece of cheesecake in there and blend, blend, blend. it's actually still kind of chunky, and there's lots of crust on the the bottom. it's more than just decadent. i think it's a heart attack in a glass. i hardly slept last night. sleep came in two 1.5 hour spurts. that's even less than normal. i packed. i did dishes. i cleaned the cat boxes. i woke margaret up several times. (sorry, margaret :-) so i woke up at five. i washed dishes until 5:30. i cleaned cat boxes until 5:45. i showered and dressed until six. i arrived at lane's to pick up judith at 6:15. all are bags were thrown into the back seat with loing care. i arrived at the airport at 6:40... i check my gate. i'm way at the other end of the terminal. i run. i get there at 6:50. i always arrive at the airport in a mad rush, and it has never failed me ... until today. i usually arrive about 10-15 minutes before take off. i could see my plane out on the tarmac. when i did this today, they said they could seat me, but i'd have to check one of my bags. i protested. i've had my bags lost so many times that i don't bother checking them anymore. if it doensn't fit in two carry-on bags, then i'm not living simply. so they booked me on a flight that was taking off 20 minutes later. someone please explain to me "airline math." if the plane they gave me leaves 20 minutes after the plane i was originally scheduled on. i have one extra 40 minutes layover in dallas. why is it taking me two extra hours to get to san jose? i see the one hour: 20 minutes + 40 minutes = one hour. where is the other hour?? oh well, they were really nice to me. i rode the Traain at DFW. i made my next flight with time to spare. now, i sit on american airlines flight 2451. my dvd player isn't working, so i'm fininshing this up. UPDATE: my day officially sucks. i got to the car rental agency only to find out that my TX driver's license expired on my birthday. they can't rent me a car. i freaked out for a brief moment. i asked them what i could do. they told me to go down to california DMV and get a temporary license. so that's what i have done. i have suffered the slings and arrows of the department of motor vehicles in california for an hour and a half, but i walk away with not only a california driver's license (i passed the test after only two tries!!!) but also a car rental confirmation number. now, i sit outside the DMV wondering why i am such a LOSER!! why didn't i renew my license when it came in the mail? because i'm a dumbass. case closed.

email me to talk about your bad day
or look at what i looked like yesterday.